Psychology of Confidence in Social Groups
Every day, professionals navigate environments where hierarchy, formal power, and loud voices don't always win out. Instead, it's the subtle, internal presence—confidence that isn't conceited or loud—that quietly shapes interactions and outcomes. Like the housecat, the individual who holds an unshakeable inner confidence often influences others far beyond what their "size" or job title may suggest.
The cat's dominance over the dog isn't about aggression or even physicality—it's about the messages sent by posture, calmness, and the certainty of occupying space. In professional settings, similar dynamics play out every day. The person who sits easily in silence during tense meetings, who doesn't rush to fill every gap with words, often commands attention, setting the pace for the group. It's the subtle assertion—the ability to be visibly comfortable with oneself—that confers a quiet influence over others.
In digital spaces like LinkedIn, these signals are both amplified and complexified. Professionals meticulously craft profiles and posts underscoring achievements, values, and confidence—projecting a blend of public persona and inner security. Yet, the secret of lasting influence is less about external display and more about internal disposition: the ability to be present, to listen, and to respond with self-assured calm.
Research from ethology and workplace psychology reveals that confidence signals operate at a pre-conscious level. Our brains process body language, vocal tone, and micro-expressions in milliseconds, forming judgments about competence and trustworthiness before rational thought kicks in. This is why authentic confidence—rooted in genuine self-assurance—carries more weight than any carefully rehearsed presentation.
This biological foundation also highlights the enduring value of in-person, face-to-face meetings. Despite our digital age, these natural confidence communications flow most authentically when we share physical space. The subtle dance of eye contact, posture shifts, and energetic presence simply cannot be fully replicated through screens—making those opportunities for genuine human connection more precious and impactful than ever.
Insights from animal behaviour research reveal that dominance in groups is more often conferred through social signalling than physical power. Cats, evolved as solitary hunters and boundary-setting masters, demonstrate this daily. They rarely waste energy on open conflict; instead, their stillness and refusal to yield create the expectation in others—animal and human alike—to adapt around them.
Today's workplaces function similarly, particularly in the age of remote and hybrid work. Physical territory has largely disappeared: there are no permanent desks, no personal mugs left as territorial markers. The signals of belonging and influence must be projected more subtly. Confidence, calm in the face of ambiguity, and the willingness to hold one's ground without aggression—all are crucial assets in the modern professional landscape.
Consider how this plays out in video conferences: the person who speaks with measured pace, who allows pauses without rushing to fill them, who maintains steady eye contact with the camera rather than constantly checking their own image—these individuals project the same unflappable presence as our doorway-blocking cat.
In decades past, employees claimed small pieces of the workplace as their own—photos on a desk, a favourite chair, a well-placed plant. These were more than decoration; they served as social signals, saying "I belong here." With hotdesking and remote work, those tangible claims have all but vanished, replaced by digital forms of presence and influence.
Passive-aggressive tactics have also shifted, becoming more subtle and psychological. Slow responses to emails, strategic "forgetting" to include key people in meetings, or quietly monopolising preferred time slots—all signal social status and assert boundaries without open confrontation. But genuine influence remains the product of internal confidence: the ability to project one's right to occupy space, participate, and shape outcomes, even without formal ownership or loud voice.
The Digital Paradox: While online platforms offer unprecedented opportunities for self-presentation, they've also created what researchers call "confidence theatre"—performative displays of assurance that lack substance. The most influential professionals understand this distinction: they use digital tools to amplify genuine expertise and authentic connection, not to mask insecurity with noise.
Corporate mission statements, elaborate PR campaigns, and carefully orchestrated "culture initiatives" have taken on the character of the peacock's tail—ostentatious, dazzling, yet often disconnected from the everyday realities of employees and customers. It's easy for organisations to make a show of virtue, but environment and culture are only genuinely changed when leaders demonstrate grounded, internal confidence—not just external compliance.
In high-stakes meetings, the person who radiates ease and conviction—who doesn't need to dominate but cannot be overlooked—sets the tone. These individuals are the "cats" of the professional world. They don't bark or bluster; they simply occupy their role, project self-worth, and subtly draw others into their orbit.
But there is a warning here. Where authentic, quiet confidence is replaced with performative signalling—empty statements, hollow self-promotion, or the prioritisation of image over substance—cynicism and disengagement quickly take root. Real self-assurance inspires, while faux confidence and virtue displays breed mistrust, especially among those whose diligent contributions go unseen.
There's also a message here for the boardroom and directors: a substantial number of customers sniff this out too. They sense the disconnect between glossy mission statements and actual service delivery, especially when they've been on hold to the 'Support Line' for 15 minutes with no idea when a real, warm, clear voice will kindly say "Hello." The gap between corporate peacocking and customer reality erodes trust faster than any competitor could. Authentic confidence means ensuring your organisation's daily operations match its lofty promises.
For those who feel more like the dog at the threshold—hesitant, observant, uncertain—the lesson isn't to fake it or chase showy displays. Rather, survival and thriving hinge on developing confidence that is internal, not external; subtle, not loud. Research on workplace behaviour consistently shows that those who can "hold space," listen before leading, and respond rather than react, are often the ones who rise over time, shaping the norms and culture of their groups.
But value isn't always measured in rising status or salary. Effectiveness, influence, and recognised contribution are achievements in their own right. Some professionals choose depth over height, mastery over management, impact over title. People and companies navigate between ambition and aspiration—or find their own balance of both. The confident professional understands that success has many forms, and the quiet influence of someone who consistently delivers quality, mentors others, or maintains crucial institutional knowledge can be worth more than any executive position.
It's tempting to conflate confidence with bravado. But true strength, as animals and seasoned professionals both demonstrate, is in the courage to be authentic, to trust one's own judgment, and to resist the urge to fill every silence or prove every point. As Piaget's work on cognitive development reminds us, perspective-taking—the ability to step outside one's own viewpoint and consider another's experience—is a cornerstone of mature, relational confidence.
Contemporary neuroscience reveals that genuine confidence activates different brain regions than performative displays. Authentic confidence engages the prefrontal cortex (associated with executive function and rational thought) alongside the anterior cingulate cortex (linked to social awareness and empathy). This neurological signature can't be faked—and others unconsciously detect the difference.
The most effective professionals aren't the noisiest, nor those with the flashiest virtual reputations. They are the ones who possess a steady, internal confidence—born of reflection, practice, and self-knowledge—that quietly but persuasively shapes their environment. Genuine poise can't be manufactured overnight; it requires ongoing attention to boundaries, values, and the signals sent and received in complex social landscapes.
This kind of confidence manifests in specific behaviours:
Just as the cat in the doorway asserts influence without noise, so too can you. Hold steadfast, unpretentious confidence: it not only earns respect but also creates space for collaboration, creativity, and trust. The world may reward signals and showmanship in the short term, but real mastery—at work, in leadership, and in social groups—unfolds from within.
Cultivating internal self-assurance—free from arrogance, rooted in authenticity—is a lifelong practice. It begins with honest self-assessment: recognising where confidence is genuine and where it's performed. It continues through deliberate practice: choosing to hold space rather than dominate it, to listen deeply rather than wait for your turn to speak, to trust your judgment even when it differs from the crowd.
The cat doesn't question its right to block the doorway. It simply knows its place in the world and occupies it fully. This isn't about domination or territorial aggression—it's about the profound confidence that comes from knowing who you are and what you bring to any situation.
In time, you may discover that those who "hold space" quietly, like the watchful cat, have far more impact than those who shout. They shape conversations without dominating them. They influence outcomes without forcing them. They build trust through consistency rather than charisma.
This essay is part of our ongoing exploration of evidence-based psychology for professional and personal development. For more insights into building authentic confidence and understanding social dynamics, explore our Psychology Essay Collection or learn about our Foundation Years Course for families navigating similar dynamics at home.